Preview Articles
Flirting
Honesty
Intimacy
The Ladder Theory
The Dominance of Infidelity
The Illusion of Love; The Ninety Day Theory
Past, Present and Future; The Emotional Evolution
Goodbye; The Blessing
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Often asked is the age old question: ”Why do men cheat?” This question has been debated and contemplated to no end. Contrary to popular belief, men do not cheat because, “there are just that many more women than men” or “because men are inherently doggish”. Believe it or not, the leading cause of male infidelity is a breakdown in communication between lovers.
The word infidelity implies that there is a relationship or commitment on some level, but what about those infidels who do all the right things to imply that the two of you are in a committed relationship? Too often we open ourselves up to the temptation and allure of a possible relationship, only to learn that we are but one of many or, at best, the star player of a “starting five”, (i.e. when infidelity has become an epidemic). You see, if you can’t have one Michael Jordan on your team, then
why not have five CBA players?
When an individual has an affair, be it for five years or a mere five minutes of indiscretion, for that moment, that individual has found a lover with whom he or she can communicate; albeit “sexually” it is still communication. Mental stimulation is not a prevalent aphrodisiac in this case. What is important is that sexual chemistry or sexual communication has been achieved. This is not to excuse infidelity by any means, but rather it is an attempt to prevent its occurrence (it is impossible to arrive at a solution if one does not fully understand the cause of the problem).
I will not attempt to refute any of the concepts or theories you may have been privy to assessing men as cavemen or barbarians who are unable to control their libidos. Some people are simply selfish! There is no scientific formula or calculation needed to arrive at this conclusion.
Infidelity is a weakness, believing anything else is self deceptive. Deciding to share your life with someone may be the most important choice you will ever make. What else could be said for risking this life-long commitment in such a reckless moment of indiscretion besides weakness?
Infidelity is the manifestation of what began as a lack of communication. When lovers cease to communicate their wishes, wants or desires openly and honestly, one or both may begin to repress their desires, which subsequently do not disappear, but rather become stronger and more intense as they fester. During a moment of vulnerability, or a period of weakness, these suppressed desires may literally “erupt”.
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